Lo and behold, this week's cover of People magazine features a Fresnan. Okay, it's massage therapist Amber Frey, the "other woman" in the ongoing Laci Peterson murder case. Once again, Fresno appears to be the backdrop for a tragic tale of corrupt morals, shattered dreams and fishing alibis. Which got me thinking…

I am not an entrepreneur, nor do I currently live in Fresno, but someone right now must be drawing up a map for a tasteless new tourism scheme. (More tasteless, I would argue, than having an actor as mayor.) Perhaps Scott Peterson's Homicidal Husband Adventures ® could offer visitors a guided tour of all the spots where creepy, restless Central Valley yuppies lurk for love… and/or hitmen. I'll supply the first two stops, but after that, you're on your own:

-World Sports Café: Once the flagship of northeast Fresno's bustling pseudo-downtown promenade, Riverpark, this bar and eatery now is tainted with the odor of desperate Modestoans hoping to cheat on their pregnant spouses. (Factoid: World Sports is co-owned by former San Francisco 49ers player Tim McDonald!) It's here that Scott Peterson is purported to have met Ms. Frey, who allegedly was unaware that the tall, dark and handsome Cal Poly alumnus was a married man. Did she also know he was a fertilizer salesman? We wonder.

-City Lights: Fresno's premier gentleman's club (and by "gentlemen" we mean "Nazi bikers"). At this Sunnyside lap-dance establishment, a convict claims to have encountered Scott Peterson allegedly asking his fellow patrons (two guys named "Dirty" and "Skeeter," to be exact) for assistance in kidnapping his wife. While you're there, ask for the very same "notoriously vicious prison gang that engages in murders and kidnapping, extortion and drug running."

Tell 'em the Governor sent you.