FLIGHT ATTENDANT: "Thank you for flying Song. While you sit patiently on the tarmac, I'm going to spend the next 10-15 minutes telling you a little bit about Song and our very hip, edgy flying experience. Meanwhile, our Song 'talent' will walk the aisles with brightly colored orange menus, which you'll notice match quite nicely with our leather seats and designer outfits.

Our Song 'talent' have been hand-picked from a list of people who were almost hired at JetBlue. But as our corporate parent Delta Airlines would like us to point out, we are a very unique, boutique airline, aimed at the progressive 18-35-year-old demographic. And we want to know how to best to personalize your flying experience to fit your needs.

At Song, we're more than an airline, we are a way of life. In your seat pockets, please turn to Chapter 12 in the Song Airlines hymnal, and let's repeat the following Song Pledge of Allegiance…"

You want to personalize my flying experience, 'Song Talent'? Stop yapping on the damn intercom and let me listen to my music in peace.