This will be the last time I ever mention Song Airlines -- but, like any other cult, raising awareness is crucial in these early stages. And the problem is worse than first imagined. When I first flew the airline, I thought my flight was simply ruined by some chatty, over-caffeinated flight attendants. But guess what?!? It turns out these mile-high jokesters were actually following a script. This New York Times reporter also got an earful:

"En route from New York to Fort Lauderdale, the 'scripting' takes the form of a kind of holiday-package, ambivalence-is-not-an-option, forced gaiety. In her initial remarks to the passengers before boarding, the gate agent uses the phrase 'bright and cheerful' three times. 'We want you to know we like our jobs,' she adds over the intercom. 'We're happy to be here. So challenge us!'

"We board a plane 'made in the good old U.S.A.,' and before we taxi to the runway, a gate agent named Andrew leads the plane in a German beer-drinking song in honor of Oktoberfest. No time to dwell on the anxiety provoked by hearing on-duty airline personnel singing a drinking song; as the plane leaves the gate, we're enjoined by a flight attendant to 'sit back, relax and enjoy our Song.'"