FRESYES BLOG
 
homecontactthe rock
Friday, November 07, 2003

Mo Kin Care of Business

The sonogram was helpful, but Fresyes contributor Giants Fan has just returned from the doctor with new video of her daughter-to-be. And just like her mother, it appears she's talented beyond her years!
posted by The Governor @ 10:46 AM  

The Fat Man Sings ... in the 'No

Fresno is claiming culture now with its multimilliondollar Save Mart Center. Tonight the place opens with a star performance by Andrea Bocelli, and Elton John is the next on the bill. No more getting excited over monster truck rallies and gun shows, I guess.

The mayor got a little ego boost, too. "Fresno has been kicked around over the years," Mayor Alan Autry told the sf chron. "Some of that was justified, and some was not."

Don't worry, we'll still kick it around.
posted by el bohemian @ 4:33 AM  
Thursday, November 06, 2003

I'm not fat, I'm big boned!

In Californian news tonight, our kids are so damned fat they can't even walk to school without getting winded.
posted by Alan @ 4:13 PM  
Wednesday, November 05, 2003

I Want My $5



I stole this baseball card from whatevs.org not so much because I care that the Yankees have hired their beloved Don Mattingly as the new hitting coach, but mainly because it stirred up painful memories of my youth.

You see, when I was first starting my baseball-card collection (a hobby that never really took off for me... but I digress), the crown jewel was my 1982 Topps Don Mattingly (street value: 5 bucks). One day, my brother had a "friend" over, and the bastard stole it right from under me. If karma has its way, one can only hope the guy is now filling the fried-chicken tray at Popeye's in Chowchilla.
posted by The Governor @ 11:34 AM  
Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Toby Keith? Aisle 3, Next to Produce



Fresno State's very own Save Mart Center opens on Friday, and the Bee has done a bang-up job hyping this modern architectural marvel with a special souvenir section. Now, while all you old-timers mourn the impending demise of downtown's rickety old Selland Arena (Uh, hey guys, what happened to that "downtown revitalization" project? Didn't we just build a new baseball stadium down there?) I'm going to try to decide between Elton John tickets and that Fresno Falcons-Long Beach Ice Dogs matchup.
posted by The Governor @ 6:18 PM  

Re: Ratings Grabber

Just to clarify, I'm not arguing that terrible things aren't happening in Iraq...just wondering why that's all that makes the evening news? Where are the stories about kids going back to school, torture chambers being destroyed, water/electricity/food/medicine flowing into regions that have never had those resources before?

There is definitely an inbalance in reporting going on over there, with the bias falling heavily on the anti-Bush policy side. I would like to see a range of news from the region, covering all aspects of what's going on.

As for the US soldiers' deaths, clearly the war is not over and Bush should never have declared major combat operations over...tell that to the GIs who are getting zapped out of their Humvees. If I were calling the shot, the B-52s would still be pulverizing the bad guys.

I agree, it's our mess and we need to clean it up, but why aren't we putting more pressure on the Iraqi people we freed to help? We're clearly not getting any support from the rest of the world. Can't they help crack down and deter the anti-coalition groups who are still targeting coalition forces?

Maybe they are...and we just don't know it.

As for the last comment, it's almost laughable (where did you find it?). In war, you're supposed to kill people...and you accomplish that by assaulting them. Fuzzy logic, I know.

CONGRATS TO FAVI AND JOSH!
posted by Alan @ 2:53 PM  

Fresyes Bringeth Life



Our favorite Fresyes contributor, Giants Fan, just got back from the doctor... and it turns out the Indian food wasn't causing all that projectile vomiting. She and her husband are expecting their own little Giant Fan. Congratulations! All name suggestions can be forwarded to fresyes99@hotmail.com. (Unacceptable suggestions: Dusty, Giambi, Hideki or Chris Isaak.) For the record, mom predicts it's gonna be a girl.
posted by The Governor @ 1:53 PM  

A Real Ratings Grabber



Uhhh... Quick question: Can anyone explain to me how a "liberal media" can put a "negative spin" on a helicopter crash that kills 15 soldiers? Is there a positive angle we're missing there? Or, better yet, can you tell me how guerrilla attacks on coalition forces can be construed as evidence that all Iraqis are "ungrateful"? My take: singlehandedly dismantling a country's government is ugly, time-consuming business. Perhaps the Commander-in-Iceman-Flight-Suit should've thought about that rather than plot a parade route so Iraqis can greet the U.S. with flowers and little foil-wrapped chocolates.

It's our mess to clean up. Like it or not.

Meantime, let's change the subject and look back at a different botched war. This shocking news series from the Toledo Blade tells us about Tiger Force, an elite fighting unit of the U.S. Army that got a wee bit out of control. "Prisoners were tortured and executed -- their ears and scalps severed for souvenirs. One soldier kicked out the teeth of executed civilians for their gold fillings."

After a probe, "Investigators concluded that 18 soldiers committed war crimes ranging from murder and assault to dereliction of duty. But no one was charged."

Oh, wait: Was war supposed to be fun?
posted by The Governor @ 12:15 PM  

Fine, to hell with them...

With risk of starting a discussion on the Iraqi war, I must say that all the recent attacks against coalition forces are driving me insane. Is the info we're getting part of a larger liberal media attempt to dissuade American support of the liberation of Iraq? Or is it true that, despite our desire to free them from a repressive regime, the people don't want us there?

If the latter is correct, then let's get the hell out now and let those ungrateful bastards fend for themselves.

posted by Alan @ 10:24 AM  
Monday, November 03, 2003

@ home with the Fresyes Handyman

Fresyes is launching a new do-it-yourself column where your resident handyman will answer home/condo/apartment-improvement questions with only a bit of sarcasm. Is your toilet running incessantly? Got a loose door knob? Need a storage solution for that stack of Maxims under your bed? Strap on your... err.. tool belt and e-mail questions to mattberger10@hotmail.com. There's nothing (except a Niners victory) that together we can't fix.
posted by el bohemian @ 2:09 PM  

You're Halfway There



Think you listened to crappy music in the '80s? Well, try to beat 76.5, suckas.
posted by The Governor @ 12:59 PM  

In other news...



The NFC is in turmoil again as the Niners positively whomped the Rams this weekend. Do the Niners have a shot at the playoffs? Will Rattay replace Garcia at QB? Next two months will decide.
posted by Alan @ 11:16 AM  

The bigger story...

Looks like The Governor has gone ballistic, making-up for a long drought with several interesting posts. Nestled in between ramblings about some airline and CMJ is the real gem though...The Story of the Bling-Bling. Our little man is growing up quickly, having begun engaging life's more pressing issues -- platinum or white gold.

Come on Mr. Governor, support uncle Visa and pull the trigger!
posted by Alan @ 11:11 AM  

Overheard on a Hip Airline



FLIGHT ATTENDANT: "Thank you for flying Song. While you sit patiently on the tarmac, I'm going to spend the next 10-15 minutes telling you a little bit about Song and our very hip, edgy flying experience. Meanwhile, our Song 'talent' will walk the aisles with brightly colored orange menus, which you'll notice match quite nicely with our leather seats and designer outfits.

Our Song 'talent' have been hand-picked from a list of people who were almost hired at JetBlue. But as our corporate parent Delta Airlines would like us to point out, we are a very unique, boutique airline, aimed at the progressive 18-35-year-old demographic. And we want to know how to best to personalize your flying experience to fit your needs.

At Song, we're more than an airline, we are a way of life. In your seat pockets, please turn to Chapter 12 in the Song Airlines hymnal, and let's repeat the following Song Pledge of Allegiance…"

You want to personalize my flying experience, 'Song Talent'? Stop yapping on the damn intercom and let me listen to my music in peace.
posted by The Governor @ 10:17 AM