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Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Just in time for Hanukkah

Just what the little ones need this holiday season: Ann Coulter, the talking action figure. Turn them into radical right wingers when they're good and impressionable.

"Why not go to war just for oil, we need oil," says the little plastic conservative slut. "What do Hollywood celebrities imagine fuels their private jets? How do they think their cocaine is delivered to them?"

Well, that fun quip might just be worth $29.99.

There's also a Bill Clinton doll. Don't leave him alone with your Barbie.
posted by el bohemian @ 8:44 AM  
Monday, November 24, 2003

Song Airlines: Still Cooler Than America West


In case the "Song Talent" didn't use the intercom to bash it into your skull during your last flight, Delta's Song Airlines is now the official airline of uber-cool and trendy people.

And according to Gothamist, they're getting even uber-cooler — by sponsoring New York's Meatpacking District. Does that mean I'll get frequent-flier miles if I go to Pastis?

Quit bitin' on JetBlue, and we'll all be fine.
posted by The Governor @ 5:23 PM  

Fresnotes, Vol. 5: The O.C. Meets the 'NO

It's been a banner couple weeks for Fresno on television, as our friend Carrie B. reports. First, Earlimart's song "We Drink on The Job" was featured on The O.C., and then the cold blooded city got mentioned "a whopping three times" on NBC's Las Vegas, starring James Caan, she says.

And just like Vegas, what happens in Fresno, stays in Fresno.
posted by The Governor @ 2:44 PM  

And You Got the Methadone, Baby

Confirming previous medical studies published by doctors Robert Palmer ("Addicted to Love") and Roxy Music ("Love is the Drug"), Dr. John Marsden of the National Addiction Center at London's Maudsley Hospital tells us that love is, in fact, "as addictive as cocaine."

If you can wade through all this complex medical jargon, Dr. Marsden's addiction theory is summed up thusly: "We all know you can have sex without falling in love but if you have enough sex with the same person there's a good chance you will hit the body's booby trap which is there to tip you head over heels into love," he said.
posted by The Governor @ 2:23 PM  
Sunday, November 23, 2003

Get Your Fresyes Trucker Hat

Just in time for Christmas, Fresyes now has its own schwag for sale. Check out shirts, mugs, hats and thongs at The Fresyes Store.
posted by The Governor @ 11:34 AM  

Fresnotes, Vol. 3

This one's a classic:

"Got busy in Frisco, fooled around in Fresno,
Got over on your girlie cause you know she never says no."

-The Beastie Boys, "Get on the Mic," from Paul's Boutique. We can presume the Beasties did the aforementioned fooling around during their tour with Run-DMC... which I missed when it hit Selland Arena. Damn.
posted by The Governor @ 10:37 AM  

From the Dept. of Home Fries Security


Look around you, breakfast eaters. There is a conspiracy afoot in the New York restaurant business -- a conspiracy that once again became painfully clear to me during an early-afternoon breakfast at the Moonstruck Diner on Saturday. The problem? There are no hash browns available in this city.

NO, I'm not talking about "home fries," those poorly cooked potato chunks that get slopped onto every brunch plate, getting cold next to the eggs benedict. I also don't mean McDonald's hash-brown patties (though those are certainly tasty in their own brick-like way). "Real" hash browns are the shredded potatoes that get crispy on top and come in a nice pile of greasy goodness -- and for some reason, not ONE restaurant in Manhattan serves them. (If you know of any, please email fresyes2003@yahoo.com ASAP.)

Whether you like them covered and smothered or just raw, Fresyes feels your pain, and we are spearheading a campaign to bring hash browns to NY. If you support the cause, send this link to friends, family members and loved ones. By raising awareness, the call for hash browns cannot be ignored. Viva La Revolucion!

During our extensive research, we also found out that hash browns even have their own hard-rock anthem:

"With some grease and lard and potato and shit
Go fry me some onions and step on it
Fuck the egg and the bacon and the toast
Just gimme the breakfast that packs in the most"
posted by The Governor @ 10:21 AM