I shouldn't be surprised that a gruesome polygamist family massacre occurred in my hometown, but it's just further proof that Fresno is no longer a place where everyone knows their neighbors. As if a pile of dead children's bodies and a possible satanic-cult connection wasn't sick enough, we now find out that Marcus Wesson (described by the NY Post as a "wild-haired weirdo") fathered children with his own daughters -- making him both a grandfather AND father to some of the victims. Wesson's lone surviving child, Dorian, told Fox News, "My sisters and brothers are the products of my sisters -- through artificial insemination." Well, that makes it all better then, right?

After a two-hour standoff, Wesson surrendered to police, who then found a crime scene disturbing enough that several officers have already taken paid leave. A choked-up police Chief Jerry Dyer said "If this does not qualify for the death sentence, then there is no case that would."

This wasn't how I planned to ring in the relaunch of Fresyes.com, but what are ya gonna do. I actually planned to post two other items that symbolized the continued evolution of the 'No from cow-tipping epicenter to big-time California city:

1. I realize this happened a long time ago, but Fresno now has its own craigslist page. Okay, so there are less than a dozen posts on the whole site. But it's a start. (For instance, where else can you find a personal for a "married, unhappy and lonely" 45-year-old who says of his current wife: "We do have a child together, but that's all we have. No emotions and no feelings for each other." In case you're interested, he's "looking for a lady friend for companionship, maybe more.") Give it five more years, and maybe there will be some Missed Connections from City College kids who caught glances on the River Park monorail. Or better yet, maybe hoards of kids will use the Musicians section after moving to Fresno to establish the "next big scene," because…

2. Esquire magazine is either hopped up on methamphetamine or truly knows something I didn't: Fresno is No. 6 on the magazine's list of Top 10 "Cities that Rock." (No. 1 was the equally baffling Pittsburgh.) According to the press release, Fresno's music scene is home to such "hot" acts as "Mynis, 40 Watt Hype and Kat Jones." Never mind that there are about two venues in the whole city. I haven't seen the actual magazine, so someone please tell me if there's any sign of Earlimart -- Fresnans by way of Los Angeles who have made the biggest splash of any Valley-ites in quite some time. (The utterly useless Bee version of the story is here.)