Principal Belding: "I just fired the music teacher. Let's drink."

Thanks to everyone who has submitted suggestions for the Fresyes Schwag Charity Drive. There have been plenty of good suggestions (keep sending 'em), but the overwhelming majority seem to favor giving money to help an elementary school music program.

The only minor problem, of course, is it's gonna take a lot more than $500 in thong revenue to counter the misguided decision at Fresno Unified to cut all elementary school music programs. Just means we'll have to get creative. So keep buying that Fresyes merch, and maybe we can help some kid rage against the machine.

In a related story, it turns out Fresyes fans aren't the only ones rockin' thong underwear these days. Drudge Report deems it fit today to report that the liberal radio network Air America is selling its own brand of butt-flossers.

And speaking of "dirty Democrats," Drudge also leads today with a story about John Kerry's daughter's see-through dress at Cannes. (Hey Drudge, quick news flash: A lot of women don't realize their black dresses are see-through until the flash-bulbs hit it and it's too late.) Leave it to Britain's Rupert Murdoch-owned Sun tabloid to keep things in perspective: "Film director Alexandra, 30, showed at least two reasons why Americans should vote her dad into the White House in November."