We keed, we keed…
Here's some text from Al Sharpton's real speech, which rocked the DNC Wednesday (and was a mere 14 minutes longer than what was scripted!):
"The promise of America is government that does not seek to regulate your behavior in the bedroom but to guarantee your right to provide food in the kitchen.
"The promise of America is that we stand for human rights - whether it's fighting slavery in Sudan, AIDS in Lesotho, or police brutality in this country.
"The promise of America is one immigration policy for all who seek to enter our shores, whether they come from Mexico, Haiti, or Canada.
"The promise of America is that every citizen's vote is counted and protected, and election schemes do not decide elections."
Meanwhile, another quote of the night came from former presidential punchline Michael Dukakis, discussing the Republicans' "Massachusetts Liberal" label: "If they're so hung up on Massachusetts, why do they all want to send their kids to school here?"
