1. Thanks to Napoleon Dynamite, my new favorite animal is a Liger -- half lion, half tiger with magical powers.

2. Fellow redneck Amy Langfield points out that "Fres-NO" is mentioned in the new David Spade Capital One commercials, but I must have missed it while thinking about what a pathetic career move it is for Spade to drag out his old "phone guy" routine for a credit-card ad. Hey Dave, it was funny the first time I saw it … in 1993.

3. More proof that Britney's gone nuts.

4. If GG Allin were alive today, he would be crapping himself: Our current 'hood (off Avenue B, where Allin played his last show and later died of a heroin overdose) is going to be home to a new batch of luxury lofts, which are selling for $545,000 to $745,000. As Curbed notes, those lofts better have some thick soundproofing, because they'll be living right across the street from a very busy firehouse.

5. You don't have to be a Metallica fan to enjoy "Some Kind of Monster," the insane new documentary that shows the band going into therapy with a "performance coach" and James Hetfield battling alcoholism while trying to record their last album (which sucked, but that's not the point). What's most amazing is not only that Metallica was willing to document how screwed up (and filthy rich) they have become, but that the group decided to venture deep into their personal histories to sort out their various ego problems. Best scene in the movie: The therapist bringing in former Metallica guitarist-turned-Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine, who nearly comes to tears while confronting Lars Ulrich about getting kicked out of the band in 1982 because of his own alcoholism. All together now: "Hello me, Meet the real me."