Nothing like a good summer rain to wipe that puke and urine smell out of New York. Now our favorite contributor, 559 por Vida, weighs in with a new list: The Top 10 Smells of the Week. Behold:

10. Fear
9. What the Rock is cookin'
8. The 20-mile stretch between Lemoore and Hanford
7. Bangladesh
6. 559's roommate's breath after packing a berry-flavored chewing tobacco dip
5. Free lunch
4. Girls
3. Wet pennies (think about it...gross)
2. The sweet smell of millions of shattered dreams (and egos) in Los Angeles (Lakers are bullshit...told ya)
1. Baseball

Meantime, Fresyes is taking a short break to take a whiff of Sin-e and tour the fine city of D.C. this weekend. Later.

1. Hollywood Hustle: Fres-friend Matt Graham runs a picket fence against "Superman" Dean Cain (aka Scott Peterson), and he doesn't get caught watching the paint dry. Big ups to the Graham Cracker for his new ESPN.com column, in which he goes head-to-head with celebrities in the sport of their choice. Up next: Tonsil hockey with Fran Drescher, perhaps? We vote hell yes. Stay tuned.

2. Hollywood Gristle: Our other friend Alli does reality-show casting, and she's now hunting for "fat professional men" (approx. 50-100 lbs. overweight) for "the 'Survivor' of weight-loss shows," titled (get this) "Biggest Loser." Go ahead and contact us (put down that chicken wing first, Tubby) if you're the right blob of humanity for the job.

3. Speaking of reality shows and "biggest loser," the Australian newspaper reports that INXS is the band behind Mark Burnett's new "American Idol" talent hunt, "Rock Star." So why not just call this show "Who Wants to Dance on the Grave of a Great Frontman?" If Michael Hutchence were alive right now... well, we wouldn't be in this predicament, would we?

Fresyes is still considering trying out, but we would have preferred the chance to join Crowded House or even Midnight Oil, who may just need a new singer if they reunite after the upcoming election. Plus, Peter Garrett's not dead, which means God is less likely to strike down whichever contestant butchers "Beds Are Burning" on national TV. (via Coolfer)

4. This is a song about daytime lovin'. (via Stereogum)

Finally, we've been compiling more lists, for absolutely no reason. So herewith, Fresyes presents the Top 7 things that currently put us to sleep (in a good way):

7. Biscuits and gravy, with a margarita
6. "The Joy of Painting" reruns with Bob Ross
5. World Celebrity Poker Showdown
4. Frisbee break in the sheep meadow
3. John Cale's version of "Hallelujah"
2. The V Train at 5:30 p.m.
1. Sunlight

Feel free to add your own.

1. Well now...he has returned. Taking his sweet-ass time I know, but he is truly sorry. The "he" to which I'm referring isn't the handsome and talented 559 por VIDA (although he truly missed you, too), but the man who brought us "Gett Off" and "Erotic City," then tossed them in the closet in lieu of his newfound witnessing of the great rockshow of Jehovah, and still managed to drop "Musicology" -- the album which answers the age-old question, "would the universe explode if Prince ever sang with Earth, Wind, and Fire?" Well ... the answer is no, but it sure did kick some ass. Prince has reinvented himself and I suggest going to see him as soon as possible, but don't wait for him to come knocking on your door with a stroller full of bags of sugar ... by then, the funk will be dead.

2. Warning: Random cavity searches and Federal Waterpark Marshalls at Clovis Lakes ... summertime is the right time for terror. Remember the sunscreen!

3. The following is a FRESYES EXCLUSIVE excerpt from dialogue between the National Football League and an imaginary representative of common social decency and responsibility:

Social Decency: Hello NFL
NFL: Howdy
SD: I couldn't help but notice some less than appropriate comments made by Bill Parcells, coach of the Dallas Cowboys this week in the pr...
NFL: Yep, Coach Parcells, one of the greats...The TUNA they call him, he's lookin' to return the Lombardi Trophy to Dallas this year, watch all season on FOX...Terry, Howie, JB...what a HOOT!
SD: Yes, that's great, but the comments he made...you've heard right? The racist comme...
NFL: Hold it right there little fella, this here's the N-F-L, in the great state of Texas ... and I'll have you know that we don't believe in racism
SD: Well, yes, you've made that abundantly clear, but don't you think that the NFL is responsible for making a disciplinary statement on behalf of its players and fans to ensure that this type of behavior doesn't happen again?
NFL: Huh? Wait ... what? Sorry (common social decency and responsibility), I wasn't paying attention, what was that again?
SD: Nevermind.

4. Okay President Reagan, we understand that you're dead and all, but the $10 bill? Let's see...a lousy western actor turned not-as-good-as-everyone-thought-he-was politician ... is it just me, or do the rest of you think that Alan Autry should be on the nickel?

5. Job shortage?? HOGWASH!! The Iraqi Governing Council wants YOU.

See y'all at the cyanide pool party 2004!

-559 por VIDA