1. It's iPod Day in the national media, as The New York Times finally cracks open the musical conspiracy known as "the shuffle feature" -- in which the iPod seems to play favorites when picking random songs. On a personal note, we've noticed our own iPod has an unhealthy obsession with Burning Airlines, 50 Cent, Paul Simon's "Rene and Georgette" and everything from At the Drive-In's "Vaya" EP. Damn you, iPod … damn you to hell.

Meanwhile, other people (read: jackasses) have decided the iPod's constant musical stimulation is ruining their "New York Experience," and have quit using it altogether. "I moved to New York, in part, because I wanted to experience the city’s sidewalk cacophony, everything from the rumbling buses to cabbies hollering 'Get the f--- outta my way!' With my earphones in, I became deaf to the urban orchestra playing around me. Even worse, my iPod had sapped the energy that makes New York more exhilarating than the places we all escaped from. Except for better bagels, I had traded one kind of suburban isolation for another."

Blah-dee-blah… Just yesterday, we used our iPod to block out a spontaneous hippie drum circle in the Union Square 6 Train station. Thank you, iPod. Thank you very much.

2. For all you Natalie Portman fetishists who found her beautiful but annoying in "Garden State," this could be what you were looking for.

Ok, folks. I've just returned from the Great Valley, and I brought back with me a trivia question...in Fresno County, which are there more of: churches or fast food restaurants?

Winning answer gets a free bucket from Popeye's.

T-minus 10 days until the Governor heads back to Fresno (for real this time), but our West Coast Bureau Chief 559 por Vida was just in town over the weekend. He sent us this EW-style "Shaw Report" to keep us up-to-date on the hot Central Valley Trends:

IN:
-Campagnia
-Fake Boobs
-Bud Light

OUT:
-Elephant Bar
-Sunburned Boobs
-Champagne & Strawberries

He adds this: "Campagnia, for those of you not living in town, is like the Tribeca Grand lounge, full of the people they don't let into the Tribeca Grand. That being said, give props to Brad the bartender for giving the best 'What the f---' look when someone orders a Grey Goose dirty on the rocks."

Put that in your Zagat. Meantime, here's a couple of links to keep you occupied:

1. Check out a leaked MP3 from Brian Wilson's "Smile" redux. Stereogum and company are calling the track "Heroes & Villains 2004." This is some very cool stuff.

2. Waste half your day dream casting a made-for-TV movie with this handy IMDB headshot generator. Here's that cut-rate Jason Biggs you've been searching for, not to mention the guy who will play your dad on that new Hispanic sitcom you've been meaning to write.

3. Did we mention how much we love Fresno Famous? First, they call out the Fresno Bee on its tendency to write headlines that sound like movie trailer voiceovers, and today, they offer up a juicy preview of their interview with Cursive, who are playing Fresno Thursday at Big Game Studios on Belmont. We ruined the needle on our iPod while playing "The Ugly Organ" ad infinitum, so maybe while Tim Kasher is in town he can officially dub Fresno the next Omaha. Do it. Do it.