1. Hey, cut the guy some slack, wouldja? He was married to Britney Spears for 18 minutes, then she dumped him for a Fresnan. How would you feel? "You think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!" (via S'Gum)

2. Back to respectable journalism ... seems that our president is about to have some uncomfortable questions to answer regarding his military record.

3. Our attorney just so happens to live across the street from our new favorite Hollywood must-have actor...David Bowe. That's right. Bob from "UHF." It comes from reputable sources that he's got 7 cats in his bathtub and once yelled "penis" at the top of his lungs at Mortons Steakhouse in Downtown Los Angeles...just to win a bet. That's our guy. Furthermore, the Fresyes Editorial Board has been hired to write Mr. Bowe's BIO. Which, not long after his triumphant return to Hollywood elite status, will lead to his memoirs, I'm quite certain.

4. If any readers are in Santa Barbara rather than Fresno this weekend, 559 por Vida is hosting his own shindig -- the world's largest sloshball game at Tuckers Grove Park at 1 pm on Sunday.

Here it is, people. Sunday night. Club Fred in Fresno. Join two media powerhouses (that's us and Fresno Famous) as we rock you with big beats, booze and bingo.

Meantime, here's a hot new MP3 that's blowin' up the New York club scene. Maybe DJ Dolphin Failure will break this down Sunday night. "Total! Global! Integration!"



(*Bring Your Own Whipped Cream and Strippers)

1. No, that's not a photo from Fresno's "Yay Straight People! Boo Gay People!" Rally … this was from a small protest organized in New York on Sunday. Maybe you missed it.

The welcoming committee for the Republican National Convention was out in force -- and contrary to all that "anarchist" talk in the media, everyone we saw in Union Square was perfectly well behaved. (No one dared waste a day of perfect NY picnic weather wiping tear gas out of their eyes.) Our only complaint with these protests: If you want your cause to be taken more seriously, how about less Hackeysack and more hygiene? Just a thought.

So, who will the GOP trot out this week? Among them: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rudy Giuliani and Dick Cheney. Interestingly enough, NONE of them actually support a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage.

2. Meanwhile, did Bush really win a varsity letter for cheerleading at Yale? Cheerleaders for Truth wants to find out. (via Wonkette)

3. Three Hours of Your Life You Will Never Get Back (aka the MTV Video Music Awards) aired Sunday night. In a nutshell: Usher lip-synched, Hoobastank should have lip-synched (rather than go through puberty live onstage), Stevie Wonder reminded us that the music business once had talented people, and the Polyphonic Spree still creeps us out.

Finally… Fresyes is going on tour this week, hitting Chicago to re-enact "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" and then down to Fresno for Labor Day Weekend. If you're not too busy funneling Budweiser tallboys at Millerton Lake, keep your Sunday night open: Two of Fresno's favorite blogs will be hosting a Happy Hour and Bingo Night with special prizes and some kickass music. More details to come …