Well, love 'em or hate 'em, the two presidential candidates squared off last week in the first of three presidential debates. Even after the 32 pages of "thou shalt nots" that the candidates had to sign, it's the official position of the Fresyes editorial board that Kerry flogged Bush like a dusty rug. But don't let us sway you, we'll leave that to EVERY STINKING PARTISON IDIOT ON THE PLANET. Please! We're all spun out! Hmm...where can we go for an objective opinion? I know! Let's ask the Swedes what they think! (If you're interested, here's the debate)
Here's some Class Action for you... Why, Justice Scalia...I never knew you to be so...adventurous.
Kuuumbayaaaa my lord...KUUUMBAYAAAA!! Can't make this up. Ten Kenyan inmates broke out into song yesterday to distract guards as they were breaking out of prison. Let's do our best to make sure that this idea doesn't get anywhere near Corcoran State Prison...I hear this guy likes to sing.
Honey, give the bride a peanut, she looks hungry...
tastes like matrimony!
Today we honor our favorite Babar-like talkshow bride, Star Jones. I'm not sure, but I always thought that weddings were really expensive for those who were getting married, not the people working there. Turns out that Star is demanding that stylists and other product manufacturers pay her for appearing at her ridiculous wedding.
Dear Jesus...please help our phones Ok, we all know that Fresno's got some crime. Like, lots of crime. So you'd think that the last thing you'd want is a decrepid, bought-from-Sanford-and-Son 911 call system. Umm...no.
"It's on its last leg, and they're basically holding it together with duct tape," sheriff's Capt. Tom Gattie said. "We're kind of living on a wing and a prayer here."
The Governor will be away for two weeks as he heads out on a diplomatic mission to Munich and Paris (aka "The Fresno of Europe"). Until his return, stalwart Fresyes correspondent 559 por Vida will be posting occasional rants to keep you all entertained ... or, at worst, mildly amused.
Meantime, all of you within three hours driving distance of Fresno MUST go see Earlimart and Grandaddy play Tokyo Garden on Wednesday night, in a special benefit show for music education organized by Fresno Famous.
Fresyes is a web collective whose current interests include (but are not limited to) rock music, the central valley, new york city, chipotle burritos, "granny gridlock" and people who hamper the flow of pedestrian traffic.
Buy
Purchase Fresyes hats, t-shirts and other useless stuff.
