Yes, this is Drudge Report breaking news: Members of several high school wrestling teams in Oregon have contracted herpes after a tournament in -- that's right -- Clovis. (Actually, the Ashland, Ore., newspaper says it was in Fresno, but why do we cityfolk always have to get the creepy press?)

"We think the kids picked it up at the Clovis tournament (in Fresno)," Crater High School athletic director John Beck told the paper, effectively ruining his players' plans for prom night. "But they didn't have any symptoms. Then they went to Reno and that's when we knew we might have some problems." That's what they all say when they come back from Reno.

One item worth noting: Ashland Daily Tidings reporter Don Hunt wants to make it very clear his knowledge of herpes came from "the Herpes.com website."

(UPDATE: The Fresno Bee quotes officials from the Clovis West Canker Classic… er, Shootout, denying that their tournament spawned this herpes pandemic. Clovis West assistant Travis Mills insists that none of his players are herpin' out, and he says the tournament has been "unjustly accused" by those Oregon wrestlers -- who, we once again feel compelled to remind you, spent time in Reno.

Buchanan assistant Chris Morales defended the tournament, saying, "I know that Clovis Unified maintenance crews do a great job of wiping and mopping all district mats." No word on whether they doubled up their cleanup efforts following the 10th Annual Adult Video Star Decathlon last November… God, the jokes keep on comin'!)