Step One
Admit you have a problem. Also, line up more corporate sponsors and get going on stadium expansion.

Step Two
Eliminate alcohol sales at the stadium.

Step Three
New contract for food services and expanded availability of snacks.

Step Four
More discounted prices for students, and increase student involvement in games.

Step Five
Games to be held either at 1 p.m. or 7 p.m. on Saturdays.

Step Six
Push harder for TV contract with ESPN or ESPN 2.

Step Eight
A new coach and coaching staff.

Step Nine
Increased community relations. First home game is picture day for the kiddies.

Step Ten
High academic standards. And no exceptions!

Step Eleven
Get a dog mascot that's not so ugly. Get him a chair or throne while you're at it.

Step Twelve
Set up a new conference. Here's the lineup:

Fresno State
Boise State
Utah
San Diego State
UNLV
Hawaii
Utah State
Oregon State
Washington State
Louisiana Tech

(Hey, a guy can dream.)